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MR. WOODCOCK
MOVIE REVIEW
by Skip Tucker
All I could think of was, “They got my $11. They got my $11…”
Now, going in, you know that with a title like “Mr. Woodcock,” (“Woodcock! Get it? Woodcock!”), this probably is not going to be one of the movies nominated for an academy award. But hey, there are two Oscar-winning actors heading this up – Billy Bob Thornton and Susan Sarandon. After watching this movie, all I can say is that they must have pictures of each of them doing unspeakable things in order to get them to sign off on this 87-minute abortion.
Sean William Scott (Stifler from the “American Pie” trilogy) is John Farley, the former fat kid who was mercilessly abused by a sadistic gym teacher (Tony Gasparovich springs to mind). Flash forward 20 years, and the kid has lost the baby fat, found his inner strength, and has become an author of a best-selling self-help book. When he travels back to his home town (to receive, as God is my witness, the Corn Cob Key), he finds out his mother is dating his old nemesis. For a self-help guru who counsels others to “let go of their past,” Scott comes across as a constipated, whiny little bitch.
There are a couple of funny lines (e.g. Woodcock telling John, “You must like getting spanked, Farley. I guess it runs in the family.”), but not nearly enough to make up for this poorly-thought out, frustratingly underwritten waste of time. This movie stinks worse than a three-week old jockstrap.
But that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
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