DELETED SCENE
Courtroom, int., day
MAN #1
I was walking by McDeli's when out
of nowhere I heard someone talking.
Then my arm flew off and I ended up
in a hospital!!
JOHN
Look, I didn't know the thing could
do that!
PROLOGUE
Location: Restaurant, ext., day
We see the group walking out from a restaurant...
JOHN
AND THEN HE GOT HIT IN THE HEAD
WITH A COCONUT!
...when Ryan see's something interesting.
RYAN
Hey, look at that!
Ryan points at a crudely constructed sign
JOHN
(Whispering to everyone as
Ryan walks towards the sign)
Don't worry, I got it.
JOHN
"Please do not use the button for
evil. For more information, see
back." Huh, wonder what all that's
about.
RYAN
I dunno, let's ask Amber.
JOHN
Like SHE would know what it means.
They jog towards the rest of the group
RYAN
Amber, c'mere!
AMBER
What?
RYAN
Tell us what you think this sign
means.
AMBER
Ok...
JOHN
It says "Please do not use the
button for evil. For more
information, see back."
AMBER
Well, look at the back then.
JOHN
"The great red button has for
centuries been able to grant
wishes. Humans have recently
realized this great power, but none
have been able to use it
correctly."
AMANDA
Well lucky me. I just got this Easy
Button for 5 bucks at Staples. Do
you think that's what it means by
'Great Red Button'?
Amanda takes out an easy button from her right pants pocket,
which Ryan takes
RYAN
Well, there's only one way to find
out! (serious voice) Oh great
magical 5 dollar red button...
(excited ADD little girl voice) I
wish I had a PONY!
A vaguely horse-shaped piñata appears in front of Ryan
JOHN
WOAH. Lemme try that! (John takes
the easy button) Oh magical button,
I wish I had the power of 10,000
butts!
John presses the easy button
AMANDA
Well?
JOHN
Well what?
AMANDA
Anything happening?
JOHN
Not re- (John's eyes bulge and his
face looks if he is going to puke)
RYAN
What?!
John just stands there, his face slowly turning into a
smile. John rips an earth-shaking fart, while in the
background someone's arm flies off and they scream and fall
to their knees.
AMBER
Um, what just happened?
RYAN
Um, I think he just farted.
AMANDA
(Whispering to Ryan) Turn around.
RYAN
WOAH.
JOHN
Um, you don't think they could,
like, arrest me for this, right?
RYAN
Well...
JOHN
RIGHT?!
RYAN
Let's just say... Good luck in
court.
John has a worried look on his face
2 YEARS LATER
The words "2 Years Later" are centered on the screen. John
is seen running through the woods. He then he trips on a
fallen branch.
JOHN
Man, that hurt... Hey, where's the
easy button?!
Amanda and Amber are talking indistinctly in the background
AMANDA
Hey, who's that?
AMBER
Is that... John?
Amanda and Amber are walking towards John during these next
couple lines
AMANDA
John! Over here! Can you here me?
JOHN
Amanda!! I think I sprained my
ankle when I tripped over this log!
Amanda helps John up
AMBER
Are you ok?
JOHN
Do I look ok? Well Amanda, I lost-
AMANDA
First, how did you trip, and
second, what are you doing out
here?
JOHN
Well, some random dude tried to
sell me a watch after I got out of
juvy - You know, for blowing that
dude's arm clean off - I was trying
to stay away from him and he
started CHASING me, and after I ran
into the woods to get away, I
tripped and heard you guys talking
and hoped you saw me ehre. Oh, and
as I was saying earlier, I lost the
easy button!
AMBER
The same one that got you in juvy?
JOHN
Precisely. Hey, what's that?
John runs to pick up the item
JOHN
Hey look! It's the easy button!
AMANDA
Are you serious? Lemme see!
Amanda and Amber run to John
AMANDA
It is the easy button!
AMBER
This should be fun.
JOHN
(John chuckles) Let's see if this
baby still works!
AMANDA
Wait- Are you SURE you want to do
this? I mean you COULD wind up in
jail again.
JOHN
Correction - Juvy, not jail.
There's a difference.
AMANDA
Whatever, just think it through
this time.
JOHN
Fine, whatever.
John takes a deep breath
JOHN
Oh magical easy button, I have
returned! Magical red button, I
wish my leg to be healed!
John presses the easy button, and the Easy Button Fairy
appears
FAIRY
Hello! I am the magical fairy of
the easy button! It seems you have
made a wish before, am I correct?
JOHN
Well, yeah... Why?
FAIRY
Oh, humans are so silly - You can
only make one wish!
JOHN
Crazy fairy from outta nowhere say
what?
The fairy chuckles
FAIRY
You have already made one wish many
days ago!
JOHN
Wha- Well, yes, yeah about 2 years
ago. So, why can't I make another
wish?
FAIRY
Well you see, the magic of the
button was so great, that the
original creator put a seal on it
so that whoever used the power
once, would not be able to use it
again! If they COULD use it again,
they might try to rule the world,
and that wouldn't be fun now, would
it?
JOHN
I guess not... Hey uh, you wouldn't
mind, you know, telling me
something?
FAIRY
But of course. What is it you wish
to know?
JOHN
Oh, nothing much. Just... WHERE THE
HECK DID YOU COME FROM?!
FAIRY
I came from the easy button! It is 
magical, remember?
JOHN
Riiiight.... So um, can I go home
and eat chili?
AMBER
I like chili!
JOHN
Shut up Amber.
FAIRY
Oh, ok. Can I come, too? I LOVE
chili!
JOHN
Sure, you can come. Just don't fly
around or... Be... A fairy. Mom'll
be mad.
FAIRY
As you... (giggles) wish!
THE END OF IT ALL
Location: Inside eating chili
JOHN
Ok fairy thing, stay here.
FAIRY
Fairy of the Easy Button.
JOHN
Oh whatever.
John goes into the kitchen, and looks in the fridge
JOHN
Let's see, where is it... No, apple
juice, cake, oranges... There it
is! Chili!
John walks back into the living room
JOHN
Alright, some chili for you, fairy
thing.
The fairy's face falls into the chili.
JOHN
What the - Ok well uh, I'm gonna go
get Ryan. Uh, st- stay...?
FAIRY
I'm not a pet, you know.
JOHN
Who cares, just stay there.
John walks outside and comes back in with Ryan
RYAN
So that's really what happened?
JOHN
Yeah, weird story I know. I hardly
believe it myself!
RYAN
Weird...
JOHN
Yeah, I just said that.
RYAN
No, not weird story, weird... THAT.
Ryan points at the fairy
JOHN
Oh, that?
FAIRY
I'M A GIRL.
JOHN
.(To the fairy) Good for you. (To
Ryan) That's just the easy button
fairy.
RYAN
Easy button fairy?
JOHN
Don't ask.
RYAN
Whatever. So, how'd it-
FAIRY
I'm a SHE.
RYAN
Ok, she. How did SHE get here?
FAIRY
Well, this human-
JOHN
And I happen to be a boy.
FAIRY
Whatever. Well, when he made a wish
on this easy button 2 years ago,
the wish was granted. Although now,
since he has already made a wish, I
have come out of the easy button to
let him know that he cannot wish
again.
JOHN
(Whispering to Ryan) Which I STILL
don't get.
FAIRY
You will get it soon enough.
JOHN
Ok, can we just forget this? Hey
wait... Ryan hasn't made a wish
yet! Hey Ryan, c'mere.
RYAN
Yeah?
JOHN
Hey, do this for me.
RYAN
Ok, what?
JOHN
Say "I wish the Easy Button Fairy
was gone and that none of this ever
happened."
RYAN
Ok. I wish the easy button fairy
was gone and that none of this ever
happened.
JOHN
Now press this.
John hands Ryan the easy button, Ryan presses it
FAIRY
Your wish has been granted.
The easy button fairy dissapears
JOHN
Well, only one thing left to do.
RYAN
And what's that?
John takes the easy button from Ryan and presses it
EASY BUTTON
That was easy.
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